Happy, happy Monday! I was planning on sharing a delicious chili recipe today…. until one of the kids took my phone to school. Mike and I have the same phone…. exact same phone. One of the kids took mine in the car with dad thinking it was his! So here I am without my
beautiful okay pictures showing you what to do! So plan B it is. I have to admit, I am a little nervous about posting this. This is not just a fun recipe or a cute thing to do, this is part of me…. scared or not here ya go! Recently, my sister Tiffany has been telling me to share the bad that I feel and when I told her it does happen though not often, she scoffed at me and said “that is why I don’t like you” She was totally joking but it really made me think. I want you all to know I do have tough moments! I have moments of getting overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted, tired. I struggle with feelings of self worth, inadequacy. Worried I am not a good mom, wife, sister, friend, daughter. I think we all struggle with those things. I have had those days where I think, can one thing please go right and easily! BUT I love being a mom more than anything. I used to dream of being a mom! I had the most amazing mom in the world. I am the second oldest of eleven brothers and sisters, it was a crazy childhood and I loved it so much! My sisters and brothers truly were my best friends. I did not have many friends growing up and my family was who I loved to be with. I wanted to have children and have a loving fun big family too! I have been blessed with seven children! My husband will say big enough! I love it and I also think being a mom is hard at times. It truly is the hardest job you will ever love. Where else do you give up so much of yourself. Your sleep, your body, your spouse, your time??? I read a recent blog post here, it is about how there are 17 lies that we think about people with no children. I read it thinking it would be funny, it just made me annoyed! You can not compare taking care of a child to a pet… no matter what you say it is not the same! You can leave a pet like a puppy for hours and yes they may mess up your house or pee on your floor. You can not leave a baby! You can not understand the feeling of complete dependency on you to provide every thing to that little person. I understand some people take care of elderly parents. That can be very similar. To me it is still a bit different. They talked about how their house is messy too. I am sorry you think that, try this to prove it is not the same. Throw a few three olds in a room and leave…. come back and it is like a tornado went through twice! If I had no children here, my house would be clean…. cause I would clean it and guess what unless I messed it up and was being lazy it would stay clean. In my opinion, a lot of her comments were totally off and it really did annoy me… showering with children around is different! I don’t think she has been in the shower and had multiple interruptions for things such as what’s for dinner, where are my shoes, are you almost done, can you tie my shoes, can I come in???? All those and more have happened to me. I really felt frustrated after reading it, to the point I wish I had not read it at all! It made me think, is life really the same and I just overthink the importance of parenting…the stress of it…. Then I read this article here about vacation after you have kids! I felt so much better! I really agreed with this gal! It also really made me laugh! So much of what she said is so true! Life does change after you have kids, it is totally different for everyone! From a simple vacation before and after kids, you realize how much has changed. Your children are your first thought! I can not count the amount of times I have wanted that last swig of milk, or last bit of whatever and one of the kids ask for it and I give it to them! With all that said….. the joy from a messy, snotty kiss from a sweet sick three yr old, the well worn toy that they are letting me hug, the hugs that are so tight you almost can’t breath, the way they search you out in the crowd when they are on stage singing for church or school, the little poorly written letters that say I love you. The surprise hug from your 14 yr old, who just wants you to know she loves you. The long talks about the hardships of middle school. The absolute joy you feel when you see your children helping one another or being kind to a stranger, when you see that you are raising good, kind people. I am so grateful to be a mom. I love it, I love it in way that until you are there it can not be explained. I have rough moments, I never let them stay for long, because I know all too soon it is over. My sweet Emma is 14! FOURTEEN! I remember the thrill of finding out we were pregnant! I remember her being born and all that has come after that, and you know what it feels like yesterday! I get a heartache when I realize college is 4 short years away, and then she won’t be here everyday, she won’t need me really for much! With seven children spanning 13 yrs , there are too many wonderful moments to let a few bad get me down. If everyday you are looking for the joy in your day, the joy in your job, the joy in your marriage, the joy in your friendships, the joy in running your errands, the joy in cleaning your house, the joy in fixing meals, the joy in your motherhood….. you will find it! You will find so much joy, so much happiness that to complain would feel wrong and pretty petty. I love being a mom because it teaches me kindness, patience, unselfishness. It teaches me the joy of the first snowfall, the excitement of French toast for breakfast, it teaches me to recognize the little things that can be so easily overlooked. It also teaches me above all, the love my Heavenly Father has for me. I know I am a daughter of God, and I know he loves me as I love my kids, that makes me feel amazing and wonderful and that I can do great things! So sweet Tiffany, I love you! I do get annoyed, tired, overwhelmed and sad… I know that when I start to feel that way, I look around and start counting the good, wonderful things I have like healthy children, a warm house, good friends, a loving husband and it changes my annoyance, to gratefulness. I want to go to bed every night with a feeling that I made the world a better place somehow that day, from raising loving kids, to saying hi to the homeless man on the corner……. I want them to know they matter to someone. The best way I can do this is to raise children who desire to do the same. ” The most important work we will ever do is within the walls of our own home.” is my favorite quote from Harold B. Lee and you know what…. he is right.
How we raise our children will have a ripple effect into generations…. I love being a mom, all the hard , all the pain, is nothing compared to the joy. I would not change it for anything. So I am off for a day of dirty diapers, snotty kisses, messy dishes and love, laughter, hopefully a shower! Have a happy day! And if you don’t have kids,or they are all out of the house, I hope you make ripples with those people in your life! Spread joy! Thanks for listening to my thoughts… I was scared so scared to do this.. but hey I did it! Have a fabulous day!
Love you all,