Happy Monday! I hope your weekend was wonderful! Mine was wonderful at times…..and at other times I wanted to pull my hair out! I am introducing a new routine for the childrens clothes and it requires going through all their existing clothes. This is in itself not a fun project…… it is always messiest before the organization is done! Sat night after two separate trips to the store and three soccer games, I was feeling so frustrated. Kids were arguing and did not want to Saturday clean the house. I was so frustrated with the bad attitudes! I felt like yelling, I mean really yell. It was a horrible feeling to just want to yell! I admit it , I wanted to yell, I wanted to grab my purse and leave and let them clean on their own. I was annoyed that after a fun day, I thought it was fun, we even had a picnic with fast food burgers! I was annoyed that they did not want to be helpful. I felt like telling them off, and letting them deal with it themselves. I did not do those things. I am glad I didn’t do those things, instead I tried the other route of talking to them and changing what I could. I told the kids I how I was feeling and why I was so upset. Did it help? Were they suddenly in the mood to be helpful and cheerful? Not all of them, but some of them did change! Some recognized that the way they act can help or hurt the spirit that is in our home. I am grateful that some recognized it. I was still not in the best mood even after that. I was still exhausted and still feeling overwhelmed…. what do you do when you feel that way?
Well I wanted to go in my room, shut the door and watch mindless tv or go visit my sister Tiffany. Instead, I said a prayer, and made a nice dinner of pasta with spinach,fresh tomatoes, and garlic. Roasted some asparagus and had everyone sit down and have a nice family dinner. That helped tremendously. Did make everything perfect and rosy? Still no, but I sure felt better. It gave us all some time to refocus and eat. Everything is better when you aren’t hungry. We were able to relax for a few minutes, breathe, laugh a little and be together. After that, the little ones were very helpful, the big ones… ehhhh not really but they weren’t fighting anymore! I had the kids finish their chores, told them they could go watch a show and sleep in the basement. To make my self feel even better, I told myself I would clean for another 20 min and then I would go to bed, I knew if I gave myself an out, that would help. I carpet cleaned the tv room. Every twenty minutes, I gave myself twenty more. I let that decide how much more I really wanted to do. And you know what I finished the chore in about an hour and felt a million times better!
I share this not because I want anyone to feel bad for me or think my kids are terrible, they aren’t, they are normal kids who have crabby days. Kids who don’t want to clean a house anymore than I want to watch a football game for three hours…. I would rather clean. I share this because I am grateful for the example that I have of patience. I want to be more Christ like. He did not lose his patience and scream, yell and stomp off. He showed through examples, through his actions. I hope my kids learned something Saturday, I know they knew how frustrated I was. I know they knew I wanted to yell and be angry. I know I learned something, first of all I can handle it even when I want to scream if I am willing to do the harder work to not lose it,( saying a prayer, walking away for a minute) putting my energy into what I can control, (dinner, my attitude) To have the next morning be Mothers Day, a day to honor moms and all they do…. was well, ironic. In church to hear all the wonderful quotes the prophets have shared about mothers. There was also a talk on motherhood. They referenced a talk by Julie Beck. Being a mother is so much more that just being a mom, who cleans, cooks and runs the house. This is a divine calling, the hardest job I will ever hold……….. yet the most rewarding, and to be the most influential person in my childrens life is humbling. It was what I needed to help me want to try even harder. I also was reminded that as long as I am trying, I am doing great. I knew then that even if my children could not say” hey mom I learned from your example last night”….I know they did. Here is the talk in its entirety, Read it Here! It was amazing and I really needed to hear that.
We have a hard job being moms, some moms have it even harder, being a single mom I imagine is so tough. I have so much love for all of you mothers out there, all kinds of mothers, natural mothers, birth mothers, adoptive mothers, special “moms” who are just really important and influential women in my life. Mother-in-law’s, Grandmothers and all the special women in between who affect someones life for good. I honor you and look up to you. I am grateful for the lessons you have taught and continue to teach.
So leave this blog post with a feeling a love, a feeling of you are not alone. A feeling of everyday we can improve. A feeling of other moms who want to just scream and run away at times! I am hoping there are other moms…. I can not be the only one, right! Together we can learn and grow and get better at being moms! I still have so much to learn and so much to do better! I am hoping by the time this baby is in his/her teens I will feel a little more equipped! I am grateful that I was inspired to go and pray, grateful to have a had a nice dinner in the middle of all that yucky chaos. Grateful that the next day I was reminded that as long as I am trying I am doing a great job!
I hope you have a great day! I hope you know how grateful I am that you are part of my life!
SMILE BOOK:
Yorkshire pudding (made last night in my mom and grandmas honor)
The sweetest little handmade cards from the kids
a clean tv room! OH YES!!
Peace in my heart.
A wonderful mom, who I love more each day.
I feel like yelling all the time and find myself probably doing it more than I want……however, I loved what you said and will remember your words the next time I am ready to lose it so that I don’t! Thanks Lara! :)
You are not alone. I believe every mother has had that moment of wanting to scream. It’s what you do with it that matters. Turning to God in prayer is absolutely the best answer. I’m praying for you. Being a stay at home mom is a very difficult, but rewarding, job.
I really liked this post a lot! I tend to lose my cool with Breannah a lot and it hurts me to do it but she has to be told more than once to do or not to do something and it really frustrates me. I really need to work on it. I just wish there was a way I tell her once and done, any tips?
Sadly, I have yelled. Then I told my children that I needed to go to my room and take a timeout. More importantly, I apologized after my timeout.
Stacy,
I too have done the raised my voice and apologized, however what a great way to teach that we all make mistakes!! I like the idea of me going to my room! Brilliant!
Love, Lara
I regret I yelled to much when my kids were younger Lara you are such a good Mom and a wonderful example