Happy day everyone!! My how I have missed you all!! I have been away for so long…. so very long, but for now I am back. As I sit down to type, I am a little nervous, as always. Nervous to share such a big announcement. But ready to do so. Nerves are always part of the deal right?
As many of you know, we have 8 beautiful children! We are grateful for each sweet spirit that has joined our family. We have prayed for each baby, prayed to know it was the right time to add to our family and prayed that all would go well with each pregnancy and birth. We have been extremely blessed! All 8 of our children are happy and healthy and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t thank my Heavenly Father for that. We have also experienced loss, having three miscarriages, has made the birth of each baby very special.
That being said, pregnancy and birthing 8 children has been really hard on my body. Really hard. We, as a society, don’t really talk about all the things that can happen with the gift of life! Many struggle with postpartum depression, I actually just found a site about that called The Emily Effect, a sweet mom who suffered from postpartum depression, and it eventually took her life.
That being said if you or anyone you know struggles with this, ask for help! You are not alone!
There are also a ton of changes that happen physically! Those you really don’t hear about!! So i am sharing some of that today….
I noticed after a few kids, the trampoline was no longer an option….. when I would jump I would feel like I had to pee! Like run to the bathroom pee! As I had more kids, it got worse, from feeling like I had to pee, to a little pee… oh my word I can not believe I am sharing this!! Some of you moms know exactly what I am talking about!!
Long story short, after a terrible experience while coughing…. I went to my dr and said this is not okay…. something has got to be done. He suggested I try physical therapy, ( that was not embarrassing at all…. sarcasm) and after a few months, that had not helped.
Back to the dr I went. He informed me, things were just getting worse, my option was surgery or wet pants.
Surgery or Wet Pants….. what to choose…..
Can you guess what I am choosing??? I also found out I had not only a prolapsed bladder, but also a prolapsed uterus. I walked out of the drs. office in a daze. I had a million thoughts running through my head. I had gone into the dr. with a hope of what can we do to fix this, and come out with a surgery date and the knowledge that we would never have any more children.
We were pretty sure we were finished having children. We would joke we needed a tie breaker, or joke that 8 is enough. But we knew we wanted the decision to be one that we had prayed about and gone to the temple about. We had not had the chance to do that, it was suddenly in the forefront. I had thought what if in a few years,we were to have maybe one more. I had also thought I think we are all here. I needed some time to think, to pray to have peace.
We did that, and we feel really good that this is the best thing for me and for our family. I know we are all here, and that our family is complete. Even with that knowledge, I still am surprised at the amount of sadness I feel. We know our family is complete, however, knowing that we will never have any more children is sad in a way. It will never be an option, there is no changing our minds. It is permanent. I was and still am a little surprised by how that part feels. Being a mom was always my dream, always my first answer of what I wanted to be when I grew up. And after having two miscarriages in a row and then a third a few years later, being a mom has been more precious to me than I thought it could be. I am so grateful for all my children and I know we have a lot! It is just so final to know that I will never again have that feeling of knowing with out even taking a test that something was different, never get to surprise Mike with the announcement of having a baby! Never hear the babies heartbeat for the first time, or that sacred moment when the baby is born, and how in those days after, my love for Mike felt such an increase that we had brought a baby here. Even knowing that we were pretty sure we were done, it is still a bit sad for me. I am kinda shocked by it.
Surgery it is!
So on November 14th, I will be having a bladder repair and a hysterectomy. They are removing everything but the ovaries, so that is a great thing for hormones and I won’t be in menopause at the ripe age of 40! I never imagined I would be getting a hysterectomy, really ever. I just thought just one day, no more periods, but I thought that was years and years away. I am kinda young for this surgery but as the dr. said, “you did have 8 children…. things change with that many kids!”
What I am also still trying to wrap my head around is all the resting I will be doing, you guys, resting is not in my vocabulary. I would have a baby on friday and be home Monday babysitting, making dinner, life back to normal. So the idea of almost complete bed rest for 2 weeks… oh my heavens… I am gonna be bored out of my mind. And following that 4 weeks of modified bed rest, not picking up anything over a gallon of milk, or vacuuming or laundry… the list goes on. That is making me a slight bit anxious! So any books, movies, or games, please keep me posted! I did just get this game Dutch Blitz, seriously so much fun! Hoping I can play that and won’t hurt too much from laughing! I also got Parenting With Love And Logic to read and work on my parenting skills! What a better time to do that, right?
How are the kids:
AND the kids! HAHA! We sat everyone down to discuss what this surgery would mean, no big Thanksgiving dinner this year, mom will be stuck on the couch for a few weeks, and not able to do much for the next two months, everyone needs to help out….. all of that. They realized I won’t be cooking dinner. Bless Mikes heart, he can make a great omelet, grilled cheese and a pretty good quesadilla, but sweet friends, that is the limit of his abilities! The kids wanted to know is daddy going to be cooking? We replied yes, for the most part, their response…… Nooooo!! we are going to have grilled cheese for days! I was dying!
I am prepping and making some frozen meals of course! Poor kids, who can eat grilled cheese for 6 weeks! But I really do appreciate his willingness to help! Life will be very different for the next few months. It will be hard at times I am sure, but I am also sure there will be some great learning moments for all of us. They may have a new understanding for moms and what all we do!
So the Meier Family is complete,
We are so grateful for our children, so grateful for eternal families and so grateful for the power of prayer and the peace it can bring. This is a big surgery to me, any time you go under it is a bit scary to me. We are of course hoping all goes well, I do know that this is what is right for our family and what is right for me. I am so excited to be able to jump and play with the kids, and I do have to admit, a little excited at the thought of no more periods! HAHA! Silver linings right?
I wanted to share this on my blog, for a few reasons, one is there is so much to share regarding this, and people often ask about us having more kids, and also to let other women who may struggle with this that you are not alone! I really felt that I was the only one who had this issue! Lets be honest, we should talk more about what we deal with as a result of childbirth. Esp things like this and postpartum, again if you are struggling with that, please tell someone! And well I love you guys!! You are good friends and I wanted to share this with you, I ask that you keep me and the family in your prayers, it would be so lovely if you could.
So there is it, good bye to some lady parts and hello to a new bladder! Another silver lining!! I may now have more time to blog! SO excited about that!! See you soon and thank you for popping in!!
SMILE BOOK:
Tucker received the aaronic priesthood !
Trick or Treating with the kids, so fun!
I painted the mud room!
Seeing Hink sit on the stand with Mike during church, makes my heart melt. He is growing so fast and it is so bittersweet.
Found my halloween costume for $2.00!! AT VALUE VILLAGE of course :)
Mindy Harmon says
Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Someday when you are recovered, we will have to have a reunion of the original Round Lake Branchfamilies that are still in the area.
LaraM says
Mindy!
Oh how I would love to see everyone! Thank you for the sweet thoughts! I will take all the prayers! And thank you for still being part of my life, all these years later! I looked up to you as a little girl and still do today. Love you!
Hugs, Lara
Gina says
Lara thank you for sharing such a personal, important time for your family with everyone. I think the subject of post-partum depression is not discussed enough. Brooke Sheild wrote a book about her life with postpartum and it was very good…. https://www.amazon.com/Down-Came-Rain-Postpartum-Depression/dp/1401308465
You are no doubt one of the best moms I have ever met!
LaraM says
Gina,
You are too sweet! Thank you!! I totally agree with you! Post-partum depression and all the things that happen when we have a baby, are sometimes just glossed over and I think we should talk about them more. I think so many of us struggle with things and we often feel that we are the only ones, so I do hope this little post does bring up some moments of conversations. I will see if I can get that book while I am sitting around for a few weeks! I should have the time! Thank you so much again for your kind words, being a great mom is my goal, and my dream come true. Thank you again!
Hugs,
Lara
Crystal escobaR says
Oh Lara, you amaze me. I recently went through this same feeling you’re having as far as having to be done with babies. Although I only have 4, this decision to be done was so hear wrenching. Thank you for your beautiful post.
LaraM says
Crystal,
You are seriously one of the best examples of being kind to everyone! Thank you for popping on here and reading my little blog! I totally agree with the heart wrenching decision, I think it doesn’t matter if you have one or 20, it is hard to know that phase of your life is over. Thank heavens for eternity right!! Thank you so much for commenting and reading!
Hugs,
lara
Mary says
I’ve got the same issues Lara:) we are hoping to even out our numbers with a number 8 if it’s the Lord’s plan. Then we will have to be done too I think. I’m not sure my body can take any more. I may be having the same surgery in a few years. Best of luck to you! Love you!
LaraM says
Mary!
I thought I was the only one!! It is never talked about is it?? 8 is wonderful!! Any number the Lord gives us is wonderful, but I do love big families! I will let you know how surgery goes and what to expect for when and if you do need it! Give all your family hugs!! We miss you guys!! And I hope it is in the Lords plan, you guys are an amazing family!
Hugs,
Lara